


I breathe you in and then you disappear

by crookedspoon



Series: Exchange Fics [62]
Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Dubious Consent, Implied/Referenced Past Sexual Abuse, M/M, Mind Games, POV Jason Todd, Power Imbalance, Treat, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:07:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21710497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedspoon/pseuds/crookedspoon
Summary: Bruce has decided it's time for the next step in Jason's Robin training. Dick is to teach Jason in his stead.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Series: Exchange Fics [62]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/51139
Comments: 24
Kudos: 139
Collections: Consent Issues Exchange 2019





	I breathe you in and then you disappear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kmfillz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kmfillz/gifts).



> I gotta be honest here, kmfillz, this request was the bomb and I've been looking forward to writing since the first time I've seen it. I feel like I should apologise both for not making this more compact and for not writing you even more, because man is this scenario inspiring. I hope you enjoy what "little" I could offer you anyway! xD

Hindsight being twenty-twenty, Jason should probably have packed up his shit and left the first chance he got. There are other things to life than being Robin, right? Right. Except that for Jason, being Robin _is_ his life. Best thing to ever happen to him. And if something means that much to you, you don't throw it away like that.

At least, that's what he told himself at first. Because truth be told, Jason was terrified of being kicked out, of being deemed not good enough to be Robin.

Fear makes you do a lot of shit. Especially the fear of losing something.

Jason had never before considered the lengths he'd go to in order to keep what he has. Now that he's being confronted with new challenges every night, he finds that there are fewer and fewer things he won't do. Which is probably the whole point of the exercise, but you know, it's not something you think of in the moment.

Or maybe it is. The first few times, Jason's brain was going into overdrive, thinking so many things at once that it was hard to keep track of them all. Things like, Bruce has a reason for everything, he'll have a reason for this, too. Or, Jason did complain about wanting more training, he can't go back on his words now that he gets it.

Because that's how this shit was sold to him: as training. And Jason, naive idiot that he is, believed it. Okay, maybe he's being a little harsh on himself. He _wanted_ to believe it because he wasn't ready to be disillusioned by his heroes.

Dick probably still believes everything he preaches. He's been with Bruce far longer than Jason has and Jason wouldn't be surprised if Dick bought all of Bruce's lessons wholesale. After all, he never so much as batted an eyelash at anything Bruce told them to do. 

That's what made it seem okay somehow.

***

Jason was leafing through a tome on human anatomy when Dick knocked on his door. It was late by normal standards and Jason had already spent the day training by himself, but going by Bat standards, it was time to get ready for patrol and Jason was up for learning new things.

 _Finally,_ he thought. The reason Bruce sent Jason to San Francisco was so that Dick could train him and the others, but training at the hands of Dick had been woefully lacking so far. 

Imagine Jason's surprise when the door he stepped through led not into a training area but a bedroom instead. Not the first location you think of when you picture a fighting montage. Not wanting to grasp the situation yet, Jason wondered if Dick wanted to simulate a fight in a hotel room or something.

"Hey, what's this about?" he asked, proud that his voice betrayed none of the confusion or anger he was feeling. "I thought you were going to train me."

"I am," Dick replied. His arms were crossed in front of him in a way that suggested he really, really wasn't.

"This doesn't look like a training room to me."

"Bruce and I thought you would prefer a neutral ground that is not yet weighed down with associations of any kind."

"A neutral ground for what?"

"There's more to being Robin than just combat skills."

"Go on," Jason said, even though he wasn't sure whether he liked where this was going.

"In fact, I'd argue the most important skill to master is gathering information and putting it together. Actual detective work. You can't always beat information out of someone. So you have to use the other tools at your disposal."

"That still doesn't explain why we're here."

"Maybe you haven't been paying enough attention..."

Between one moment and the next, Dick's entire demeanor changed, as if the stick in his ass had suddenly vanished. He was standing so close Jason could feel the heat radiating off of his body, but the creepiest thing was the softness of his face that smiled down at Jason. His thumb brushed Jason's cheek gently and Jason's breath caught. It was as if the second he moved, the moment would be over and for whatever reason, Jason didn't want it to end. His face heated at the thought and his pulse kicked like a mule. It was going both too fast and too slow, like everything was happening underwater, like an eternity passed between one heartbeat and the next even as they were both standing still.

Jason's lips parted. He was unsure of whether he wanted to say anything or whether he wanted to tip up his head and accept the kiss Dick was about to give him. His entire body was straining to touch Dick's in some fashion. 

Cradling the back of Jason's head, Dick leaned closer and with an overwhelming clarity Jason realized that the reason he couldn't stand Dick on a normal day was because he was fucking attracted to him. Fuck his life, right?

 _"Hn,"_ a sudden noise startled Jason out of his embarrassing thoughts. _"He fell for that too easily."_

On the desk by the shuttered window, the open laptop flicked on to reveal a video feed of Bruce reclining and drumming the fingers of one hand on the surface in front of him.

_"This proves my suspicion that he requires an extensive amount of training."_

Dick straightened up and nodded, his former, aloof self once more. His face was closed off again, none of the warmth he'd shown Jason visible anymore.

Screw embarrassed. Jason was fucking mortified. Dick had been playacting while Bruce watched it happen? This was a test and he'd failed it, because for a second he'd let himself believe that Dick could actually be interested in him. Why he would have that notion was beyond him. It was like he forgot that grudging acceptance was the extent of Dick's friendliness towards him. (But maybe, just maybe, a tiny voice must have told him, Dick's resentment was rooted in attraction as well, same as Jason's.)

"So you were fucking with me?" Jason demanded.

 _"A mere demonstration,"_ Bruce said. _"Seduction is a powerful tool to have in your repertoire. As you have now noticed."_

Jason was shaking. He didn't know if he was shaking with rage or something else. He felt betrayed, disenchanted, ill.

_"I think you will have to start with the basics: control of your emotions."_

Dick nodded again and while his expression betrayed none of his emotions, Jason thought he detected a hint of disappointment in Bruce's voice, like Jason's performance had been a letdown for him.

_"Strip."_

"What?" A flash of heat surged through Jason. Surely he had misheard.

 _"Take off your clothes, Jason,"_ Bruce repeated the order, a little milder this time. _"Your body is a weapon. There is no need to be ashamed of it."_

Jason still didn't move, too baffled to think this was real.

_"Dick."_

Unlike Jason, Dick didn't balk. He followed the order as if it were the most normal request in the world. The perfect little soldier.

Jason felt even hotter under his clothes now that Dick was taking of his. Getting rid of them didn't seem like such a bad idea after all. He could barely allow himself to look, but his eyes drifted to Dick's naked form all on their own. Dick appeared just as comfortable without his clothes as he'd been with them, and Jason could only admire that. He would not be able to pull that off.

Even if he could fake confidence and hide his embarrassment, he would not be able to his erection. Dick was completely unaffected by everything that was going on; in contrast, Jason was getting all hot and bothered by the mere suggestion of a kiss. Talk about mortifying.

But Jason has never been one to back down. He wanted that cool confidence and there was no other way to get it than to expose himself to it. So expose himself he did, expecting a jab or two at his arousal. None came.

In a way, he was glad to not be the only one naked, if you discounted Bruce. At least there was some sort of solidarity between Dick and Jason now, even if Jason seemed to be the only one to need it.

 _"Good,"_ Bruce said, and Jason wondered what exactly he was praising. That Jason could follow orders? Jason's naked body? The state of Jason's naked body? Jason was beginning to feel too hot even without his clothes. _"Now fellate him, Jason."_

"What?" Of all the things Jason could have expected Bruce to say to him then, even in this already fucked-up situation, that was decidedly not one of them.

"He says to blow me," Dick supplied helpfully.

"I know what it means, asshole. He just took me by surprise, okay?"

"So you're going to do it?" Again, there was no fucking indication of his own thoughts reflected on Dick's face. He was like Bruce in that regard, stone-faced and flat-voiced. Even a closed book was more readable than they were.

"Do I have a choice?"

 _"You said you wanted more training,"_ Bruce reminded him, as if Jason himself wasn't painfully aware of that fact and how double-edged it turned out to be. _"This is part of it."_

Jason huffed as he sunk down to his knees. Best not to look too eager about it. In fact, the exercise was probably to treat this as no big deal, or perhaps even as something he enjoyed doing, as part of a performance or other. It was not exactly heartening to see Dick's body remain as unresponsive as ever.

"What am I doing exactly? He doesn't seem to be into it."

_"Never mind that. Your task is to get him there."_

"Give me your hands, Jason," Dick said and rubbed Jason's palms up and down his thighs. They were strong and smooth, with scars crisscrossing the length of skin, some faint, some raised, some in unusual shapes that no doubt had an interesting story associated with them. "Ask me what I like."

"Uh, what do you like?" Jason felt weird repeating that but at the same time he was awed by Dick's confidence to even suggest as much.

"Touch is good. Flick your tongue over the head. Just a quick taste, almost hesitant."

Hesitant Jason could do. It wasn't that far off from the truth. Doing as he was told, he curled his fingers around the base and licked the tip of Dick's cock. It had a curious taste, salty and bitter, similar yet different to Jason's own. He stroked Dick gently, feeling a strange sense of accomplishment as Dick's cock grew firmer in his hand.

"That's good. Now take it in your mouth. Careful with your teeth."

Again, Jason did as instructed. He peered up at Dick for guidance, which seemed to suit him just fine.

"Maintaining eye contact is good," Dick said and brushed Jason's unruly locks from his forehead. "Try to look more like you're into it, if you can. I know it's a lot all at once, but it helps."

Jason tried to relax, hoping that nothing was riding on whether or not he could make Dick come like this, that his participation would be enough for a start. His eyelids drifted lower and he moaned around the feel of Dick's cock in his mouth.

"That's better," Dick said as he grasped Jason's head with both hands. "You look good like this. Now stay still."

Dick held Jason's head in place as he slid his cock back and forth over Jason's tongue. The movement was hypnotic, almost soothingly so at first, until Dick began thrusting into Jason's mouth at a bruising pace, inching ever closer to the back of his mouth and tickling his gag reflex.

 _"Enough of that,"_ Bruce said just as Jason was about to grip Dick's hips to halt his movements. _"Jason, I want you to touch yourself."_

Bruce's voice snapped at least some of Jason back to awareness. Which included being painfully aware of how hard he was and how touching himself would be an incredibly good idea if he didn't have an audience of two.

_"You can lie down on the bed."_

Bruce's tone suggested that he preferred it if Jason did. Dick helped him up so that Jason could climb onto the mattress. He rolled onto his back, fighting the urge to slip under the covers and hide himself from view. He felt embarrassingly exposed as his legs splayed and he took himself in hand.

 _"Good,"_ Bruce said, and his approval made this bearable for Jason. _"Now use your other hand to prepare yourself."_

"Prepare?" Jason asked blearily. 

_"Dick."_

Warily, Jason watched Dick move to the bedside table where he took something out of the drawer. Something inside Jason's clenched and he didn't feel quite so hot anymore.

"Give me your hand, Jason."

Jason did, while at the same time trying to find his arousal again, that woozy feeling that made him focus less on what the fuck was going on and more on finding that edge of release he'd been charging towards. A cool, wet gel hit his fingers.

"Now rub them over your hole and finger yourself."

Jason blushed just to receive this instruction. Going by Dick's tone there was nothing more to it than following a cooking recipe. Well, fuck, okay, he thought. Maybe there wasn't. Maybe he just needed to get over himself.

_"In order to become successful at any form of seduction, it is paramount that you know your own body first. Its strengths and weaknesses, its likes and dislikes, so you can use them to your advantage."_

Jason wished Bruce would stop talking. He felt awkward enough trying to jerk off and insert a finger at the same time, like he was a pretzel in the making, without having to be reminded left and right that he had onlookers.

At least his finger slid inside easily thanks to the lube. Despite the curious burning sensation, he was overcome by the need to shove his finger deeper. He didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, but he definitely felt vulgar to be observed as he was sticking out his ass, trying to cram another finger inside.

His struggle apparently did not go unnoticed.

"Want me to help?"

"Yeah," Jason groaned, embarrassment flooding him all over again. 

It was one thing to be doing this yourself and being watched, and quite another to have someone else do this for you. At least when he was doing this himself, he could pretend no one was around as long as he kept his eyes shut and no one said anything.

It was much harder to ignore Dick's presence when he had one warm hand weighing down Jason's thigh, and the other spreading lube over his crack. Fuck his life, this was really happening. Dick's finger slid over Jason's hole, circling and teasing the rim. Jason gasped in surprise when Dick finally curled his finger inside.

It was definitely something else to have another's digits inside of you. It was weird but not altogether unpleasant. Especially when Dick's finger began to fuck him, sliding in and out with ease, and the burn subsided, the feeling might even be kind of nice. Until Dick added a second finger and the stretch intensified. Jason ignored the increased burning sensation in favor of focusing on that strange good feeling underneath.

Increasingly, Dick was brushing a spot inside Jason that felt really good, like forgetting-this-shit-was-happening kind of good. Jason writhed on Dick's fingers, because he was doing just that, forgetting this shit was happening and who was watching.

Without warning, Dick's fingers curled against that spot then, and Jason's body tensed into an arch all on its own. It was as if something inside him had been popped like a water balloon and for a second he was surprised to feel something hot spatter across his chest.

His orgasm had been so sudden and sharp he hadn't even noticed its approach until he was coming down from it.

Jason was staring up at the ceiling, slack-jawed and trembling, puffing out breath after breath. He winced as Dick pulled out his fingers, feeling strangely empty without them even though they'd felt like too much until only moments before.

As Jason listened to his heartbeat pound in his chest, he heard the crinkle of plastic and the creak of the mattress before Dick appeared in his line of sight again.

"Do you want to do this on your back or would you rather turn around?"

"There's more?" Jason asked, too exhausted to even make a face.

Dick's smile was tight and sympathetic, like this was just a procedure to be endured. Maybe for him, it was. Maybe he was just doing all this because Bruce asked him to train Jason.

It made Jason feel sick. Sick of this, sick of them, but also sick of himself for putting them both through this. He could have said no in the beginning, couldn't he? It hadn't seemed like an option then, but it should have been. What if that in itself had been a test of Jason's character and Jason had failed it because he didn't stand up for himself? It seemed unlikely given everything that had happened after, but then again, everything about it seemed unlikely.

Still, Jason didn't want the visual reminder that he was nothing but a chore to Dick, so he rolled over. Maybe it would be easier to bear like this. Jason's body seemed to approve because it buzzed with contentment when Dick ran his palms over the expanse of his back. Jason couldn't remember ever having been this at odds with how his body reacted to its environment and the way he felt inside.

Pulling Jason's hips up until Jason is balancing on his knees and his shoulders, Dick massaged Jason's ass, spreading it apart and working more lube into it. Jason's face was burning but at least half of it was hidden against the pillow. It gave off a faint scent of the detergent Alfred used in Wayne Manor. An absurd pang of homesickness crashed through Jason. Homesickness for an idealized version of the place he couldn't return to without thinking of this, without wondering if Bruce would initiate the same kind of training in person, without Dick as an intermediary.

The blunt tip of Dick's cock slid against Jason's hole and the moment it pushed inside, Jason's eyes bugged. This was beyond the relatively comfortable fit of Dick's fingers. The stretch came closer to a sting and Jason already felt too full.

"Relax, Jason. You're doing fine," Dick said and pressed a kiss between Jason's shoulder blades. That gesture alone made Jason want to be good for Dick, and Jason was embarrassed all over again at how needy he was.

 _"How does he feel?"_ Bruce asked, destroying Jason's illusion that somehow the connection had been cut and he was alone with Dick.

"Incredible," Dick said, a little too thickly to be entirely stable. "He's so tight, but welcoming. I can push deeper easily."

If Jason hadn't been so overwhelmed by the intensity of Dick invading his body, he might have had something to say about being talked about like he wasn't even there, but then Dick stopped his relentless forward push and eased his cock in and out. The pressure was still there and so was the burn, but it was diminishing, and the slick slide of Dick's cock inside him was beginning to feel incredibly good.

Dick draped himself over Jason's back, bracing himself with his hands on Jason's wrists. Jason felt trapped and protected at the same time. He wanted to arch his back against Dick's warmth, but he winced and shrank back into himself every time Dick's cock went in too deep.

Dick seemed to like Jason's participation, though.

"That's it, push your hips back against mine."

Jason did, bracing himself against the jab in his gut that brought tears to his eyes. It came whenever Dick was grinding all the way inside, but the rest of the time, when Dick's thrusts were more shallow, Jason began liking the drag of his cock inside him. His own cock was fully hard again and dripping.

Dick shifted his weight back, lifting away from Jason's sweating body and leaving cold. His hands ran over Jason's arms, his shoulders, his sides, all the way to hips. He massaged them with the heel of his palms and Jason found himself wanting to melt into a puddle. But Dick didn't let him. Dick held him up by his hips as he began pounding into him. Jason gripped the sheets tight, caught in a state of discomfort that was slowly giving way to the liquefying pleasure his body was experiencing. Jason could hardly breathe, he was so busy crying out and panting and pushing himself back against Dick for more.

Then, to his surprise, Dick hauled him up by his hair and his hand curled around Jason's throat, not compressing his airflow, just holding him up against Dick as he fucked into him, hitting that spot inside him that made him drool and his vision white out.

Dick's other hand had barely moved between his thighs to fondle his balls when they contracted and Jason came over himself again. Dick stroked him through it, while using his body to chase his own orgasm. Jason was fine with that, because Dick was still holding him and touching him and breathing aborted moans into his ear.

Jason landed face-first on a somewhat wet pillow that bore his teeth marks, with Dick lined up against him and grinding him into the mattress. It did not take long after that for his hips to lock up against Jason's and for Dick to tremble as he came. 

Dick did not roll off of him immediately as they caught their breath. His arm was draped over Jason's, his thumb stroking over Jason's knuckles. Jason wanted to stay like this for a while. Not talking. Not thinking about what they'd just done. Just being for the moment, drifting on the edge of sleep.

Naturally, the moment wasn't allowed to last.

 _"You've done well. Both of you."_ Bruce voice startled Jason; he'd forgotten that he was watching. _"Rest up now. We'll continue your training tomorrow."_

Something inside Jason sank. For some reason, he didn't think beyond this one time, even though he should have known that training never stopped. There was always room to grow.

Dick pulled out and away from him. Jason winced, feeling a chill right to his bones. He sat up on his elbows, eyeing Dick as he tied off the condom and went about dressing. He was back to ignoring that Jason existed in the first place. For some reason, that smarted something fierce.

Fuck. Jason let himself fall back down and scrubbed his hands over his face. Of course this meant nothing to Dick. He had just been doing his job as Jason's instructor. Even though Jason still didn't get what he was supposed to be instructed in. Going by Bruce's teaching methods it would all fall into place eventually, but too much was going on inside Jason's brain for him to see it.

He felt drained and sore and had to be careful how he moved his lower body. It was hard to think.

"You can stay here if you want," Dick said as he put his t-shirt back on. Jason stared at how nicely it clung to his shoulders, not really comprehending his words.

He nodded anyway. He didn't want to move just yet.

***

Training with the others was hell the next day. He could still feel Dick inside him and the slightest movement in the wrong direction sent a jab of pain through his abdomen.

"Is everything okay, Jason?" Rachel asked, concern vivid on her features. Under normal circumstances, Jason would be fucking flattered she'd even care that much about him, given how all she usually did was complain about him. "You seem to be in pain."

She reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder, and Jason scooted back, not wanting her to touch him. With her freaky powers, he didn't know what might happen. She might be healing the ache, but she might also snoop around in Jason's head and figure out what had happened.

"It's nothing," he said and stood up, suppressing another wince. "I must have just pulled something. It's gonna be fine in a day or two."

Unless Jason would be subjected to a repeat performance. Fuck. How was he supposed to keep hiding that?

Dick wasn't around to answer him that. In fact, he seemed to be avoiding Jason. Not that that was anything new, but now Dick's avoidance felt conspicuous. Jason didn't know what he was expecting. That their relationship should somehow be different now that they had slept with each other?

Damn right that was what he was expecting. Fucking your replacement was not something you walk away from unaltered. But apparently Dick could and did. Fine. Whatever. See if Jason cared. It wasn't like he wanted Dick to suddenly be warm and welcoming to him, but a little less cold shoulder would be nice. Jason was trying, after all.

Not wanting Rachel or Gar's eyes on him any longer, Jason retired to his room to study. If he wasn't going to get any physical training done that day, he might as well give his mind something to work on other than what Bruce and Dick have planned tonight. It wasn't easy. He could still feel Dick's hands all over him, all the places he touched, all the places he held down. It made Jason feel owned, in a way. Like Dick had staked a claim to his body that Jason couldn't get rid of anymore. He knew the sensation would fade over time, like the finger-shaped bruises on his hips, but right then, it was difficult to ignore.

He became increasingly aware of the passage of time, knowing that Dick would likely be back to pick him up come nightfall. The knot in his stomach grew more pronounced by the hour.

Reading about the citric acid cycle proved to be impossible as his eyes skimmed the first paragraph over and over again. Jason found himself looking up human reproductive organs instead of biosynthesis. He knew the diagrams by heart, but at the same time it was like seeing them in a new light now that he was supposed to make erogenous zones work for him.

It was a strangely clinical way of looking at it like that, but it was no doubt what Bruce expected of him. Mastery over his own body. His own emotions. That meant mastery over what aroused him and what did not. 

"Interesting choice of reading material," Dick said, suddenly standing behind him.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Jason asked, slamming his handbook shut without bothering to save the page.

"Seeing if you're ready for tonight's lesson."

Jason eyed Dick warily, but there was no discerning Dick's feelings on the matter. "Here?"

"If you'd prefer that."

Heat flooded Jason. Just imagining Dick fucking him on his own bed did weird things to him. He wasn't sure whether he liked the idea – Bruce wouldn't be able to intrude, but at the same time just being with Dick would be too personal. And Jason still didn't know where he stood with him.

So he shook his head.

"I'm good. Lead the way."

***

_"Tonight, I want you to take the lead,"_ Bruce told Jason. _"Take what you learned yesterday and apply it. Your task is to make Dick feel good."_

"You mean this piece of stone?" Jason asked, pointing at Dick. Making light of the situation seemed preferable to being aware of the pit in his stomach. He's never felt this out of his depth during his regular Robin training. "Is he even capable of feeling good?"

"Why don't you find out?" Dick challenged him with a smirk.

"I'm feeling at a disadvantage here, man. Like I might be looking for something that's not even be there."

_"Don't worry. It's there."_

Dick's jaw tightened for a brief moment before he threw on one of his fake smiles. But even fake as it was, the smile succeeded in making Dick's face appear warmer and less, well, made of stone.

"So, uh, how do we do this?"

It might be absurd to feel shy around someone who'd already seen him naked and sampled the goods, but for some reason it had seemed easier the day before when they'd both been naked – as if a hurdle had been taken away then.

"Let me contextualize this," Dick said, moving in close. "I'm your target. You think I have information you need. But you won't know for sure until you get me to lower my guard." Dick loomed in Jason's space, face hovering too close to his own, as he guided Jason's hands to his hips. "Sexual attraction is generally the easiest to work with."

"That's all very well and theoretical and good, but how does that work in practice?" Jason asked, already feeling short of breath – which probably answered his question.

"Try and find out."

Dick grinned; Jason heard more than saw it because their faces were so close their noses were almost touching and it would take nothing at all to just... Jason took a leap of faith and leaned in. He sort of expected Dick to jerk back the moment their lips were about to touch, but he didn't. He kissed back.

Jason started when Dick's hands ran over his shoulders and his fingers stole into his hair. It reminded him of his own uselessly hanging onto Dick's hips. He brushed them up Dick's sides and something stirred inside him when he noticed Dick breathing deeper. Emboldened by that, he flicked his tongue over Dick's lips and moaned when he felt Dick reciprocate.

His arms snaked around Dick's back, his fingers dug into his shirt, holding him close so that he could continue kissing him. Dick moaned into his mouth and shifted against him, as if seeking more friction, and fuck, Jason suddenly realized how hard he was. If Dick pressed his thigh any closer, Jason might come in his pants, no further action required. Jason didn't think that was part of the exercise.

"Jason," Dick moaned, fingers clawing at the back of Jason's shirt and it made a shiver run down Jason's spine. He shivered again when Dick's hands stole beneath his shirt and felt up the skin of his back.

Jason stopped kissing Dick long enough to rip his shirt over his head and help Dick out of his, too. He swallowed. Having Dick's skin beneath his fingers felt amazing and he couldn't stop clutching his shoulders or his back, anywhere just to have his hands on Dick. Or his mouth.

He kissed Dick's neck, the underside of his jaw, and his heart rate spiked when Dick leaned down to capture his lips again. There was a rhythm and a pull to this, and even though Jason felt like he was always out of step, he was also compelled to move forward, to move them toward the bed, to get them vertical and eliminate their height difference.

Dick sank onto the bed gracefully, tugging Jason with him by his waistband. Hands splayed on either side of Dick's shoulders, Jason needed a moment. He needed to appreciate this new vantage point, seeing Dick from it, looking so much softer than usual, with his hair mussed, his eyes glazed, and his lips slick and parted. Jason was so goddamn attracted to him at that moment and couldn't help himself from dipping his head and sinking his tongue into Dick's welcoming mouth.

At the same time as Jason was getting lost in the feeling of Dick beneath him, Dick busied himself with Jason's pants and yanked them down over his ass, exposing it to view. Jason's hips twitched, and he winced, thinking for a second that Dick was going to finger him, but he only grabbed his ass and squeezed.

Unable to get enough of Dick, Jason pinned his shoulders down and kissed his way down to his chest, sucking marks into his shoulder and beneath his collarbone as he went. Dick writhed against him so beautifully and strained even more beautifully when Jason bit the fleshy part of his pecs, right around a nipple. He sucked it into his mouth, flicking his tongue against it and around it, reveling in the way Dick's hips rotated against his, seeking out friction.

Jason pinned them down next, running his thumbs along the skin just above his waistline and observing Dick as he kissed his way further down. Dick's eyes were glazed, his mouth parted, and his fringe was falling artfully over his face as if he fucking planned it.

Jason was mesmerized by the sight.

"I wanna blow you so fucking bad right now," he said without thinking.

Dick paused for a moment, as if surprised, and threaded his fingers into Jason's hair, massaging his scalp. To Jason, that was all the go-ahead he needed. With anticipation stealing his breath away, Jason opened Dick's pants and took out his gorgeous cock.

Jason was sort of in awe that he got to do this, that Dick let Jason touch him this intimately, that he stroked his thumb across Jason's cheek as if to encourage him to continue, that he threw his head back against the pillow when Jason sucked the tip of his cock into his mouth, and clutched the back of Jason's neck as if to keep him in place instead of pushing him away. It made Jason want to break out all the stops and give him the best blowjob of his life. Dick has probably had a lot of them to compare it to but Jason couldn't let himself be deterred. He wouldn't ever be good at it if he didn't practice, right?

Dick guided him along his cock, told him where to suck and where to use his tongue, and those casual instructions, interspersed between his moans, the clenching of his fingers in Jason's hair, or the rocking of his hips, really got Jason going.

His own cock was throbbing in time with Dick's, as if his pulse were vibrating through Jason like through a membrane and turning him into an extension of itself.

In that moment, Jason was so hot, so completely focused on Dick and all the things he made him feel that he wouldn't have minded melding with him, giving up his own structural integrity to become one with Dick, kind of like an anglerfish.

The thought made Jason snort with laughter but it did not diminish the intensity of his desire.

"Something funny?" Dick asked as he pulled Jason off his cock.

"Yeah," Jason said, fingers digging hard into Dick's ass. "It's fucking ridiculous how much I want you."

Dick bit his lower lip and grinned. "That's good," he said, twisting around to take the bottle of lube out of the bedside table. "Because I want you, too."

Jason swallowed, remembering how amazing Dick's cock had felt inside him. And how sore he still was from it. Should he say something? Should he just suck it up and let Dick fuck him again, no matter how much it might smart?

Jason's head was swirling with the possibilities when Dick threw his pants aside and grabbed Jason's wrist. Out of instinct, Jason wanted to yank it away, but then he noticed the open bottle of lube in Dick's other hand.

"Finger me, Jason," Dick said, and Jason's cock _jumped_ when Dick guided his hand between his thighs to slick up his hole.

Suddenly Jason's skin was too hot and his pants too tight, and anyway, he almost forgot what it was like to move. Jason felt like Aladdin in the Cave of Wonders or something, staring at Dick wide-eyed and open-mouthed as he slid his middle finger inside.

"Yeah, like that," Dick moaned and rolled his hips. "You can go faster. Don't worry about hurting me. I like it a bit rough."

Jason nearly swallowed his tongue, so he only nodded and pumped his finger in and out of Dick until it went smoothly. Then he added another finger. But apparently that wasn't enough for Dick.

"Come on, Jason," Dick urged him. "Fuck me with your fingers."

Tentatively, Jason rammed both of his fingers into Dick, which made him moan out loud and lift his hips off the mattress, to give Jason a better angle.

Jason took the invitation and continued to batter Dick with his fingers, hyperaware of Dick's every frown or clench or twist. Almost as an apology, he sucked Dick's cock back into his mouth and bobbed his head along the hard length in time with his thrusts.

Dick arched and bucked his hips, all but impaling Jason's throat on his cock. Jason gagged once but kept going, inserting a third finger into Dick's grasping hole. It felt amazing, the way Dick's body reacted to the sensations that Jason introduced to it. Jason could drown in the sounds coming from Dick's mouth.

As Dick rocked his hips up more and more, Jason knew when to pull back enough to not choke without having to release Dick's cock at all. He was getting into this, and Dick was as well. He began tugging at Jason's hair, curling his fingers into his shoulders, pushing and pulling at the same time, when suddenly his thighs clamped against Jason's sides and he announced that he was close. His hole clenched around Jason's fingers before a wave of thick, salty liquid flooded Jason's mouth.

Jason flushed furiously as he tried to swallow all of it. Dick just came. Because of what Jason did. That was huge, considering how stoic Dick usually was and how he refused to accept help with, like, anything.

"You're learning," Dick said with a raw voice and a grin that was so goddamn attractive that Jason wanted to kiss him again. But with his taste fresh on his tongue, he felt too self-conscious to lean forward and capture Dick's plush lips with his own.

Dick had no such qualms. As Jason was still catching his breath, trying to process what just happened, Dick grabbed a handful of Jason's hair and pulled him up toward him. Jason moaned when their lips met, and moaned even more when Dick undid the button of Jason's pants that were tight enough to burst by then.

Jason made a panicked sound when Dick slid his hand over Jason's boxer briefs. He was so hard that touch was bordering on painful, and every time his body tensed, he became aware again of the soreness in his ass. It was a strange sensation, but he was too hot to pay it any mind. Maybe he'd regret getting off later, but right that moment it was the best idea he'd had in a long time. It was the only idea.

He panted pathetically when Dick freed his aching erection and gave it a few leisurely strokes. Jason already thought that was maddening, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of Dick slicking up his cock with a handful of lube and his wet length gliding through the ring of Dick's fingers. 

Jason wanted more.

Balancing himself on his knees as best he could, he pressed Dick's thighs into his chest and rubbed his slick cock over the exposed crack of Dick's ass. Dick let him. That was the most important part. Dick _let_ him. Jason didn't know if he could handle rejection at this point. 

Jason lined himself up, taking a moment to center himself and to glory in the heat of Dick's body. It was already threatening to overwhelm Jason and his cockhead was only kissing Dick's fluttering hole.

Taking one last deep breath, Jason pushed in. Sweat was streaming down his face, his back, his sides – Dick's body, too, was glistening with perspiration, and Jason marveled at the way Dick's throat worked as Jason penetrated him.

Dick was tight. Although Jason thought he'd prepared him nicely with his fingers, the reality was a different one. Intense. Breath-taking. Mind-numbing. Jason couldn't think of anything anymore, save for how amazing Dick felt and how great his need to fuck him was.

Jason tried to hold out as long as he could, pushing in maddeningly slowly with the intent of pulling out equally as slowly once he'd bottomed out, really savoring every inch. Dick, however, broke his single-minded focus the moment his hips twitched and his muscles contracted around Jason.

Jason groaned and snapped his hips forward, seating himself all the way inside Dick. Maybe he could have gathered his wits about him once more and continued going slow, but Dick moaning in his ear like a wounded animal nipped that in the bud. Jason snapped his hips forward again. Dick moaned in response, louder this time.

Drunk on this, Jason sank into Dick's slick body again and again, needing to hear all the different noises Dick made. But before he could wring any more out of Dick, Jason himself cried out.

It was too good – way too good – and as all good things, it was over too soon.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Jason cursed as he spasmed against Dick and came inside him. The high feeling that had been washing over him drained a lot quicker than it came. "I'm so sorry."

He trembled in his shame, unable to even look at Dick any longer.

 _"Hmm, we will need to work on that,"_ Bruce's voice cut through the breathy silence of the room.

Jason froze. He'd somehow forgotten all about being watched. Did he think that Bruce had disconnected again to leave Dick and him to fool around in relative privacy? Jason probably hadn't been thinking at all. His entire head had been wrapped up in kissing Dick, in making him feel good, before his own need took precedence.

_"You must learn to be in control at all times. Of your body, your mind, your emotions. If you lose control, you lose the mission."_

"It won't happen again," Jason said in a small voice. He was feeling even smaller.

_"See that it doesn't. Remember that awareness is the first step to control. The more aware you are of your surroundings, of yourself, and your partner, the easier it becomes to control any situation you find yourself in."_

Speaking of awareness. Jason became aware that Dick was cleaning himself up and putting on his clothes again as matter-of-factly as if nothing had happened. He tried not to stare at first, afraid of what he would find if he looked at Dick. Or wouldn't find.

There was none of his earlier interest, none of his warmth and mischief. Jason felt cold. His stomach dropped. Dick had fooled him into believing that he was attracted to Jason, that they maybe had a connection or something. Had that all just been Jason's imagination? Or was Dick really that good at pretending to be into Jason?

Or, conversely, was Dick that good at pretending he was _not_ into Jason, as he was doing now because Bruce was watching? Jason's head spun.

 _"Perhaps we shall try a different approach tomorrow,"_ Bruce said, drumming his fingers in thought. _"Start from the ground up. It's going to be less, hm,_ interactive _but your focus will sharpen drastically. That will be our main goal from now on."_

Humiliation was burning inside Jason as Bruce signed off. What he basically said was that they'd have to take baby steps with him because he's too stupid to carry out simple tasks. Or, that was what Jason heard, anyway.

Fuck. What a mess.

In the darkness that resulted from the computer screen switching off, Jason reached for Dick's hand. He imagined that if he could get at least one kind gesture from Dick, some sort of acknowledgement that Jason was human and therefore fallible and that that was okay, he wouldn't have to feel so shitty about himself.

"Don't," he said and moved outside of Jason's range.

"I thought you were into it," Jason said, throat tight. 

"Learn to read the cues, Jason," Dick scoffed. He flicked on a table lamp and began straightening up the room, putting the lube back where he found it, erasing the evidence of their encounter. "And try not to project so much of your own thoughts. They'll only be used against you."

"Like you just used them against me."

"Yes."

"Why are you doing this?" Jason got to his feet, ignoring the wince the sudden movement brought. "I mean, what the fuck is this going to achieve other than fucking with my head?"

Dick just sighed, as if he thought explaining it to Jason was a fucking waste of time, because Jason was too stupid to understand anyway. "I don't know why Bruce bothers with you. I don't even know why he _doesn't_ bother to train you himself. Maybe because he already knew that you're no good at this but that he wanted to give you a chance without going to the trouble himself."

"Well, maybe I don't get off on playing with other's feelings as much as you guys do."

"That's what you don't understand. This has nothing to do with feelings other than controlling them."

"Yeah, controlling _my_ feelings," Jason muttered bitterly.

Dick shot Jason one last unreadable look before exiting the room. Jason threw his sneaker after him.

Fuck his life. Maybe he should just pack up his shit and leave this dump. No one wanted him there anyway.

There was only one problem. Or two problems, really. One, he really liked being Robin. It gave him a purpose and some really cool gadgets. And two, he really hated backing down from a challenge and admitting defeat.

So Dick thought he didn't have what it took to be Robin? Well, Jason was going to show him. He was going to raise the art of seduction to a level so high that Dick could only dream of, and he was going to master it, and then _Dick_ would be the one hankering for Jason's attention. Which Jason would withhold at leisure.

That would teach him not to dismiss Jason as an irredeemable loser.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Ozone" by New Politics.


End file.
